[goo-la goo-la]

Goola-Goola's Quote

OW! @#$*#!!! I thought for sure that would hold... In Zippy's Name, this thing needs more work.

You're one of those filthy aliens arent you? I'm still disgusted that we have to associate with any not of the purest blood but the survival of our people forces us into this interaction. Aliens not unlike yourself brought our race to near extinction, but never again. We'll be ready next time. To ensure this we must leave our glorious home and venture out into the void to learn and keep track of our potential enemies. That wouldn't be you would it?

Life on Gnoosie has prepared us for the trials ahead and has made us much stronger than?any of you. Our superior training has made us valuable to the aliens so we can now move freely among them. I still believe our true foes await us as hinted by the large-craniumed aliens, but you will do for the moment.

Gotta get back at it. Now if I could only find my nano-actuated, hydro-pneumatic, quintcoiled Guzzinta, I could fix this thing...

General Knowledge

Goola-Goola are a squat, irascible race indigenous to the planet Gnoosie in the Heinock star cluster of Ursa Major. Goola-Goola are quite striking looking, having skin a deep shade of purple, red, or brown, often with lots of facial and body hair (in males) and who seem to be wearing a perpetual scowl.

Gnoosie maintains arguably the most hostile climate and ecosystems of any of the Alliance races' home worlds. From temperature extremes, aggressive and large predators, to a very short growing season, life on Gnoosie has been a short, brutal struggle throughout the Goola's existence. Those that survived, made it on their strength and ability to make do in any situation. It's been a long, slow, slog to get where they are today. Unlike many of the Alliance races it took the Goola-Goola nearly twice as long to develop space travel. Luckily their technology had developed to a high enough degree several hundred years ago to thwart the near genocide of their race by unknown off-worlders.

The Goola-Goola is a tinkerer extraordinaire, able to make do with the barest materials. While this is a necessity on Gnoosie it has made them valuable additions to exploration teams in the Alliance. The xenophobic Goola gladly tolerate the "aliens," as they call any non-Goola, for access to Alliance technology, as any suffering is worthwhile if it means strengthening their home world.

In order to be allowed to leave their home world a Goola must be a graduate of one of their technical universities. These universities are open to Goola only

(Mazian detectors are common on Gnoosie and quite effective). Here Goola learn their trades in an almost religious atmosphere, becoming adept at repairing, modifying, and creating all manner of technology (see Bodge description). They have become masters of material science and the art of improvisation and reuse. Waste is a sin in Goola culture. Any item, whether natu- ral or artificial has multiple uses throughout its lifespan. Jury-rigging has become an artform for the Goola-Goola.


Goola-Goola have a very simple democracy, with each household on the planet having a voting machine tied to the central government offices. Every evening, a single law or bill will arrive at everyone's home for them to vote on. The issue is easily researched and the Goola populace are generally well educated. Campaigning is illegal so officials can only be judged on their factual records which are open to the public.


Goola-Goola live fairly simply and their arts and entertainment are considered quaint by Alliance standards. They are generally quite content with merely surviving and living without fear. For 280 years they maintained a militaristic isolationism due to the near genocide at the hands of the unknown alien invaders. Now they are beginning to venture out into the stars to see if they can also find a place among them.

Waste is avoided in any fashion, so most Goola technology is meant to be easily configurable or reduced to raw materials to create new devices. Goola living in the Alliance are shocked by the waste they see and can often be seen mailing back home what most see as trash.

Although Goola love mechanical and other devices, they are in awe of nature. Their natural world has been their greatest foe and is responsible for most of their great advances.


Goola-Goola history has few defining moments. The wars and social upheavals that occurred revolved around technological developments or fights over the scarce resources. Gnoosie is a hostile world and the Goola had a long and arduous journey to tame it. Their innate curiosity was born out of the survival need to always be one step ahead of nature and in a constant battle to improve or die, often making do with what was on hand was all that was possible.

Despite their prowess at taming their natural world, when it came to advanced technology, Goola have historically struggled. It is believed most of their problems come from their extremely unusual form of base-12 mathematics. The reasons for its complexity is lost to history, though it may be as mundane as the Goola having 12 fingers, so that's how they learned to count. Even Mutzachans find it difficult to understand and it leads to many unnecessary errors. Goola refuse to adopt the Alliance's base-10 system of math due to their stubborn adherence to tradition and distrust of all things alien.

If there is one hero in Goola history, it is the Great Zippy Mancoon, Goola-Goola Mechanic Supreme. During the alien war of genocide against the Goola nearly 300 years ago, the last great battle for Gnoosie seemed imminent, and while the Goola-Goola were hanging on by their fingernails, the possibility of victory was there. Zippy had already made a name for himself as a top mechanic and driver in long-distance endurance racing, the most popular sport on Gnoosie. Despite the fame, Zippy enlisted in the armed forces just like most of the population because it was do-or-die time.

The remnants of the Goola-Goola fleet had massed above Gnoosie and waited for their foe. As the alien forces fell out of hyperspace, the battle commenced. It raged for hours, but luck seemed to be on the Goola's side. The tide began to turn as the greater numbers of Goola vessels, and in some cases sheer audacity and aggressiveness in tactics, seemed as if it would be enough to carry the day. Until, the Goola's flagship collided with the burning hulk of a wrecked Goola vessel. Zippy was onboard as an engineer's mate. The huge ship began to lose control as it fell into Gnoosie's gravity well and certain doom. It carried the largest weapons of the Goola fleet and all of their hope of victory. Zippy woke to find he was the only one alive in engineering. He quickly assessed the situation and sprang into action. The ships reactor systems had been heavily damaged, but they were just a scaled up version of the micro-reactors from his race car days. Zippy tore apart a heavy lifting bot for some parts, and the backup thruster systems for some more. He didn't have a welder handy so he held two parts against the smoldering reactor core, receiving severe burns and an unhealthy dose of radiation. With his last strength he connected the new reactor bypass he had fashioned, and turned it on. It looked like it was working as Zippy dropped, unconscious.

It did work, and the return of the flagship to the battle saved the day. Though gravely wounded Zippy recovered and later founded his own trade school, which over hundreds of years has become a quasi-religion.


Their xenophobia and deep-seated survival instincts leave Goola-Goola with very little empathy for other living things. If you have a Goola on your team, don't expect him to save you if you are in dire need. Mortally wounded or dead comrades are often stripped of their useful gear and cut up into jerky before their bodies are cold. Definitely not a beneficial quality to create a close knit merc team.


Goola are suspicious of any aliens and often go out of their way to hide what they are doing from other races. They will never share their techniques or technology and often go out of their way to mislead or lie to those that ask about such things.

The Goola-Goola's native tongue is very difficult to learn as well. It is very complicated and nuanced. This creates one of their most obvious quirks: when referring to any item in the plural, its name is merely repeated; thus one Gnoosie native is a Goola, and more than one is a Goola-Goola. It's fun.


Goola are generally short, stout beings, carrying massive, wide muscular frames. Their squat stature is a result of evolution on their high gravity planet (1.8 times Earth's). They are incredibly strong for their size and generally possess high constitution scores. On the other hand, Gnoosie's thick Oxygen-rich atmosphere means they tire easily in the thinner atmospheres common to most Alliance's races. Carrying oxygen injections is common for Goola-Goola not on their home planet. Their six fingers on each hand make them quite dexterous, though they must pay 10% more for Alliance made armor as their gauntlets must be custom made.

The most unique thing about the Google is the fact that they are omnivores and carrion eaters. They can and will eat nearly anything if necessary. Any animal or plant matter, living or decayed can be eaten by Goola-Goola. While they prefer to eat cooked meals as a sign of sophistication, they are unnecessary for sustenance. This even extends to cannibalism. Goola never waste anything, and a person who has died is just so much meat; the essence of that being has left and it is only fair that the resources of the body be used for the betterment of the living. Most of the cannibalism is ritualized in modern Goola society, but does exist in some of the rural areas. Needless to say this horrifies most Alliance cultures; even Phentari think Goola-Goola are disgusting. Because of their diet, Goola often smell terrible to other races.

Goola have relatively short life spans, living normally between 60-80 years.

Favorite Item

The Guzzinta, a bizarre looking tool akin to a Swiss Army Knife from Earth, though much larger and heavier is?a usual favorite. Some have over 100 capabilities. Still, any strange looking device that looks like it might serve some purpose or another can strike their fancy as well. Goola find no better joy than taking something deemed useless by others and turning it into a truly useful and functional device.


Goola-Goola hate confining clothing and wear comfortable smocks. Most are very colorful and have lots of pockets or matching pouches and accessories. Hats and glasses with various devices attached are also quite common. They consider skin suits disgusting.


Goola-Goola are big on junk yards and love to dig through them looking for treasure. They consider most of the Alliance a vast junkyard awaiting their attentions.


Goola architecture is quite simple and rustic looking, but the materials and design vary greatly depending on what is available and are rendered with great attention to detail and craftsmanship. Goola designs have become somewhat in fashion as of late in reaction to the current gaudy styles of the Orions. This is similar to the Shaker influence that happened in 19th century America on Earth.

Most homes are quite spare with limited decoration leaving most of the aesthetic value left to the creative use of materials and recycling evident in the home.

Combat Tactics

The attack on their home world made the Goola believe aggressive, attack-minded tactics are the most effective; look what sitting around acting defensive did to them. They enjoy large, dangerous, and intimidating weaponry like Juicers, Omega cannons, and Disintegrators. Goola tend to linger after battles carefully searching the area for useful leftovers.

General Occupation

Goola-Goola typically attach themselves to a party as repair techs, computer techs, or mechanics, and like to find work where there will be ample scavenging opportunities and the chance of exploration.

Favorite Foods

Goola-Goola are herbivores, preferring a diet of Buldas Berries (cranberry-equivalents) and other root foods. The Goola-Goola obtain nourishment through vegetables and complex carbohydrates. Goola rave about Earth pasta, which is considered a delicacy. The Goola-Goola drink more than Orions and love Nectar of the Ram. The problem is that they can't handle alcohol very well and tend to get blasted, though they often become less xenophobic in their intoxicated state.


Goola-Goola prefer to keep company with the 8 limbed Doopa lizard, which is a quit and faithful pet that can be trained to fetch parts and tools.

Goola-Goola appears in:

Galactic Underground


View Goola-Goola's larger image or more artwork of other races.

Sample Names

Goolan, Larkisor, Lav Perk, Zippy Mancoon

Home World/System:

Gnoosie/Heinock, Ursa Major

View on Alliance:

I hate it. I hate it. It is controlling, manipulating, strangulating, constipating, etc.

View on Family:

My family is my greatest asset for assistance and guidance, but my highest allegiance is reserved for the planetary family of all Goola-Goola.

View on Life:

For the most part, life (in the Alliance) sucks - all these big sentients stomping around, giving orders, getting in the way, destroying perfectly good stuff, and paying their repair bills late. On Gnoosie all is in glorious balance.

View on Self:

I can affect my environment and my destiny in profound ways. My flexibility is my greatest asset.

View on Universe:

A never ending wonder that is always to ready to test our mettle.

View on War:

How stupid can you get! A bunch of fools blow up perfectly good machines and leave the rest of us to pick up the pieces. It is a waste of good metal.

Notable Statements

"Don't worry. It will work just fine without those seven pieces. See? Try it..." Boom!

"You need this skimmer restarted and all you've got is a wrench, a grenade, and some beer? Well, let's get started!"

"Well, Braz-ican is dead; I guess our ration shortage is over!"

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